just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
