GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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