This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
