Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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