I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
