If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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