i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
