The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
bring money and cleavage
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize