Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
