Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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