i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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