Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize