Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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