Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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