shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
