turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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