Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
