my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize