the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
