Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize