I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
