Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
