His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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