capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
