i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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