I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
