Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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