if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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