I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
