well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Still dying that you shit outside
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
