All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
