I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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