she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
