Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
