the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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