As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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