your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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