That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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