"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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