so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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