Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
