is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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