so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
