Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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