so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize