I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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