i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
