you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
