just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
