I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
