ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
