Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
