it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Ladies don't puke and tell
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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