bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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