Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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