Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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