dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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