I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
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