I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
im holly from the hills drunk
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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