I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
