i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize