yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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