i don't plan on having that self control this summer
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
