dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
