Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
