he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
