all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize