I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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